okay so in the career center today, tanya, zoybh, and some guy were sitting behind me. tanya was talking about how she didn't want to graduate hs (seems like a shame) and then the guy (a senior i think) shit-talking gay people, spouting crap such as:

"for example, gays have around 26-54 sexual partners per year, while heterosexual men have 8 partners in one lifetime! gays should not be allowed to adopt children! the children would live in a bad environment and spread the gay! and then they would start a lawsuit because that's what they do! and according to the California Family Code Section I'm-pulling-numbers-out-my-ass..."

UGH i wanted to punch him in the face so badly. but instead i gave him the what the hell ass?! look, talked a little about plessy v. ferguson / brown v board (separate but equal = not possible), division of church and state...

"that's like calling wolves seagulls!"
"what? that doesn't even make sense!"
"look. gays are separate from us-"
"gay people are people! are you saying you can look at someone and say, yeah, that person is gay? you can't judge like that!"

argh my blood was like boiling.

NO ON PROP 8, GIVE LOVE NOT HATE.

this morning was terrible.
i don't wake up at 7 just to cry my eyes out over band!
and the mmag meeting last night was such a dud, they don't get anything done and all they do is argue with each other.

i don't know maybe i shouldn't have been so blunt with the exercise thing but he talks on and on about scales technique notes rhythms. never anything about making a good sound, or being a good performer, or listening, or even giving a damn compliment once in a while. he thinks we all practice on our own? everyone forges their practice records!

and what's even more stupid is how he's grading people on their attendance. people like liana. thomas. sophie. tony. they are more committed than half the band! it's not fair to give them a lower grade just because they are not punctual. grading on attendance is only applicable when it implies a lack of commitment, like maybe jordan. totally unfair.

and then? we play music everyone played in middle school and he says it's not an exercise? sure we should be playing with more expression. TEACH US ABOUT EXPRESSION THEN. TEACH US HOW TO MAKE A GOOD SOUND. stop nitpicking about silly notes and rhythms, cutting us off after two bars of playing! seriously sitting back there during the cabinet meeting we heard more silence from him talking than actual playing.

he speaks to us like we're in middle school. he calls us "kids." he thinks our parents still care about us enough to pay $20 just to see us play a freaking national anthem, and hten only get $9 back for the band. we want to be challenged! this freaking easy crap is wasting my learning time! i'm not saying it's bad music, but it would be a better learning experience if we were CHALLENGED. if we only play what we sight-read well, we'll be stuck playing easy pieces forever.

we never get told what's going on. he launched CMEA and the giants game thing as if it was set, that we were going to do it. don't we get input on what we want to do? at mmag meetings we don't even get to talk, all the infighting and then when we do gina just goes WE'RE WASTING TIME. excuse me WE'RE THE MUSICIANS HERE, YOU'RE SUPPORTING US. HOW ARE WE A WASTE OF TIME?

in freshman year, that part for la fiesta scared me out of my wits. crowell yelled at me so bad...but i didn't hate band. i was scared of it. scared of what i could do, what i would do wrong. at the concerts i wasn't perfect. but learning it made me feel so much better, being part of something that had come so far. playing easy pieces is quick simple gratification that won't get me far in the long run. the magic of a concert is that journey, that we began as frayed threads and became a beautiful tapestry. when there's no journey, there's no magic, there's no learning. i come to school to learn!

all in all, i'd rather be scared of band than hating it.

GIVE LOVE, NO ON 8
happy about presidential election
pissed about what 8's looking like.

but one day! things will be better. society is changing.
love is not something that can exist exclusively between a person with testes and a person with ovaries.

i said this last year...i guess i'll say it again this year in a different way:

this year is going to make me a bitter, angry girl. OR this year will make me appreciate the world. i'm leaning toward the former. D:

we'll see.

right now i am very angry and very bitter. i'm looking at you band. i'm looking at you pile of homework staring me in the face. i'm looking at you stupid apush notecards. i'm looking at you, stupid alarm clock that goes off at 6:25 every morning

SEE I AM LISTING MY GRIEVANCES JUST LIKE THEM COLONISTS DURING THE AMERICAN REVOLUTION. CONTINUING IN THE AMERICAN TRADITION RIGHT THERE...except what am i fighting for freedom/liberty from? homework? freedom from or freedom for? this is NEGATIVE LIBERTY. omg dfrl

ugh so in the career center the stupid drummer who doesn't do shit and his group were all whining about how much work they had. -____- freshmen

"who do you have for bio"
"mcmaster"
"DUUUUUUUUUDE I HAVE MICHOT SO MUCH HOMEWORK"
"DUDE SHUT UP I HAVE SO MUCH HOMEWORK" and their table is completely empty, they're not doing any work at all

GO DIE. IT'S BIO I. GOD FORBID YOU EVER GET TO AP ANYTHING, YOU'LL WANT TO STAB YOURSELF IN THE FACE.

NOTECARDS HAVEN'T EVEN REARED THEIR UGLY HEAD TO YOU YET.
-____-

ENJOY FRESHMAN YEAR, BUDDIES. AND THANKS FOR BEING SO SUPPORTIVE IN BAND.


--oh, 20/20 on calc quiz, but the word 'derivative' just destroyed all of the calc knowledge gained thus far. and sorry about the bitchery...this year is starting to get to me.