it seriously must. you could say it comes with the territory, but the biggest names have next to no privacy. sure, you'd make a lot of money, but what can you do with the money that avoids pretty much all civilization because the paparazzi are creepy moneygrubbing stalkers. and the gossip! living with people talking shit about you must be terrible. and your friends, your family - you'd quickly learn who would truly be there for you and who would sell out.

it would be so hard to do "normal people things.." but it's kind of the sadness of always wanting what you don't have. normal people aspire and dream of fame, of riches, of wonderful things, and the people who have them think their life is shit. funny how things turn out that way.

so the lesson? be happy with what you have? or like miley cyrus, "the best of both worlds!" luuulz

where i'm not really doing anything...no cty, no ohs, no GATE, the cruise in july but that's so far away...

and in a way, it's nice, because i can just kick back and relax and not worry about anything so much; i can read read read read read and play piano and watch dramas and basically do everything that i put off for studying during the school year. but it's weird because it also seems like everyone is doing something. internships, jobs, classes, volunteer work. it kind of makes me feel useless by comparison...like i should be doing as well. i guess it's okay. i'll find a way to do something useful. i hope.

ACHOO. i just forgot what i was about to say....OH! i finished how to read literature... it was alright. kind of interesting how he thinks that every story is just a different take on the big picture, whatever that may be. wish he would name-drop a bigger variety of stories, though. :/

tiff's party was fun! i have a vague idea of how to play mahjong now lolll. didn't go into the bouncehouse...but that's okay!

wow i'm on like, a public entry roll. i guess summer vacation makes me less secretive, too. HAH.

i guess, is what i wish for.

if i didn't do better on SATs this time around, i don't know what i'll do. but enough of that. no use worrying about things that can't be changed. except for asshole kid sitting next to me with his prep book reading sneakiness.

weird things happen to me. kelia's brother conversation, the bart ride back from the doctor, now the cheating kid. oh well. it makes for good stories (saving it for another entry)

yay june for being the awesome birthday month :) :) i'm so excited for EVERYTHING. book sales, great america with CTY buddies, fun fun fun.

after looking at google images, ben stiller does not much look like tim geithner. but it was funny imagining the parallel.

it's so weird watching people get college counselors and watching my parents worry if they're doing right by me, talking about the pros of SAT classes and silly things. i wish my parents wouldn't have to compare themselves and fuel the whole college/test-prep industry. i don't want to package myself into something i'm not. i'll do my best with what i have, thanks.

i don't know who i want to be, but i'm not going to lose who i am in the process of going for it.

well, isn't that just great.

WATCHING THE DAILY SHOW
MICHAEL LEWIS IS GUESTING
OH SNAP MS PEEL, OH SNAP